Are there rules to a ‘friends with benefits’ relationship?

From Flair
From Flair

September 23, 2019

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Shaunie likes Jason but she fears commitment; Jason digs Shaunie but has a crazy baby mother who stalks his social-media pages to throw heat and fists at any chick that gives his pictures and posts more than 5 likes. To say that their ‘situation-ship’ is complicated would be an understatement, but they made it work as they finally acknowledged that what they have going is a ‘friends with benefit’ (FWB) type thing.

For the uninitiated and those living under a rock, an FWB is someone that you have a purely physical/sexual relationship with. Over time the person becomes your friend, and though you are doing the ‘horizontal hockey’ with frequency and fervour, there are no strings attached. Now some people believe they are revved and ready for an FWB relationship, but they should know that like everything else nowadays, there are rules to abide by and boundaries that like ‘Cliftwang’, you just cannot cross it.

  1. First things first. Yes, by all means, have fun but do not, repeat do not fall in love. Wey love a guh? It is rule number one and probably the hardest to keep, but if you want to keep your sanity, always bear it in mind.
  2. Do not to think of being romantic and ‘lovey-dovey’. You may share physical intimacy but at all cost avoid the emotional kind.
  3. The next big thing is not to be clingy. No one needs extra deodorant. Though you may enjoy what you have going, do not be so enthusiastic about the sex that you expect them to be in your bed every night or every chance they get. Let them breathe. A good way to do that is to have hobbies and distractions so that you do not look so thirsty, as if they come with a pitcher of water every time they ring your phone.
  4. Number four allows for ‘sexting’ as that is expected, even welcomed to set the mood, but love notes and good morning messages are prohibited. Keep messages to  “can I see you tonight?” and end with “I got home safe”. Make it simple.
  5. A major no-no in this ‘situation-ship’, or rule number five, is entering an FWB agreement with someone who is already a good friend. That is bona fide way to lose a friend. Either that or you end up disliking each other. A total stranger may creep you out so a good middle ground would be a casual acquaintance that you see on occasion but do not move in the same circles or have mutual friends, therefore, it would not be awkward.
  6. Number six is if you see the person out with friends or with someone of the opposite sex, just keep it moving. That is not your man, woman or ‘boo thing’ so quash that green-eyed monster named jealousy and keep it cute.
  7. The final rule to remember before going where angels fear to tread is that you have to be totally honest at all times, even at the risk of offending the other person. If you do not communicate effectively and leave things in grey areas, it can be disastrous. What honesty does is free you up to be you and to walk in your truth.
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