Could COVID be the ‘fidelity pandemic’?

Daviot Kelly
Daviot Kelly

February 15, 2021

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I hope all a unnu who did get Valentine’s Day present and did get tek out fi di day, did enjoy unnu self.

Nah, who am I kidding? I hope some of you had a terrible time. The simple truth is that, for years, I have never been a fan of February 14. I suspect it is because I have never had a Valentine. Not even close. So bad mind has been very active at times. This year is not the case. I think, if anything, the pandemic has shown us who our real friends are, and who are the true loves of our lives. So all a di man dem who did have the gal dem inna twos and threes like wha Beenie Man did deejay ‘bout, I hope unnu settle down wid di one woman who is actually ‘wife’.

I also hope that all the women who have been switching from man to man worse than a white plate taxi cuts across traffic have finally snuggled up with the guys who deserve their attention. Run weh all a di odda waste man dem, regardless of who have likkle more money or who have likkle more skill in the bedroom. Money and sex is not all (says the man who has a decent but not enviable amount of one of those things and not nearly enough of another. Mi nah tell yuh which is which).

So when I say I hope Valentine’s Day was no good for some people, I’m talking about the people who are still playing the field’ in this love business. Apart from the fact that it must get tiring to be navigating multiple relationships, it nuh medically safe. It never was, but it worse yah now.

Think about it. Different lovers means you’re going to different areas other than your own yard. Even if a likkle miss sneaks in har sideman into her place, it still means someone who does not regularly live there is invading the space. Ahm, COVID still a keep enuh. Unnu remember?

So if the novel coronavirus reach your yard, and after unnu do the contact tracing you realise that you must have picked it up from (one of) your side chick or bunna man, how exactly will you explain that to your husband or wife? Which unsuspecting and totally innocent member of your ‘regular’ crew are you going to blame for it?

“A mus’ Desmond mi get it from. We did a play domino weh day an’ him did a cough.” Poor Desmond probably had sinusitis.

Even from a financial perspective, you have to realise that it’s just not viable to keep too many fires burning at once. Unless you’re one of those persons who is thriving despite the pandemic, your revenue stream(s) must be affected. So that’s less money for all the usual sweethearts to get. Surely it must be cheaper to go with one partner? Especially if a couple of your ladies lose dem work.

So take my advice. COVID a show yuh say it is time to stop di running up and dung. Take di advice.

Photo by Deon Black on Unsplash.

Link me at daviot.kelly@gleanerjm.com.

Daviot Kelly

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Daviot Kelly

Daviot Kelly describes mumbling and fumbling as two of his greatest obstacles in life, but not when it comes to penning his weekly column, Kelly’s World. A wizard with the pen, Kelly has been sharing his wit and unique perspective with the Flair since 2006.

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