Girl Chat over Beer

Krysta Anderson
Krysta Anderson

January 6, 2020

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Today’s culture is one of urgency as we become busier chasing dreams, deadlines and demands that never seem to stop. This is the reality of the modern woman, many of whom balance hectic careers with family and other pursuits that keep them moving at the speed of light. For the professional woman, finding a mate that matches academic accomplishments and mirror the ambition and drive to succeed can be daunting.

But what exactly do women want? Marketer Jodie Samuels, creative planner Zhané Robinson, and content creators Denille Ashwood and Netania Mundell sat down for a ‘girl chat’ at Chilitos JaMexican Restaurant. With ice-cold Red Stripe beers and the signature Red Stripe Sorrel ‘Beergarita’, they sipped and shared their thoughts on this very perplexing but prevailing issue.

What do you look for in a man?
Zhané:
I need a man with a good job and a stable lifestyle.
Jodie: Yeah, a man who has his head screwed on to his body; a responsible man.

If a man wants to impress you, what’s the first thing he should do?
Netania: He should actually be interesting, be able to strike up a good conversation and find a way to keep me interested in talking to him.
Jodie: He should ask me about me; not talk about himself.

If a man is interested in pursuing you, how would you prefer he approach you?
Denille: With respect, of course.
Netania: I hate when a man approaches me while he’s visibly drunk. That’s an automatic turn-off.
Zhané: I agree, and that happens so often at parties. A lot of men use alcohol to gain the confidence to approach women.
Jodie: That’s sad because the drunkenness just indicates carelessness, in my opinion. No woman wants a careless man in ‘big big’ 2020!
Netania: The biggest thing is when a man is drunk at a party. Drunkenness isn’t necessary! You can enjoy yourself without getting drunk.
Jodie: Agreed. These men approach you while drunk and offer to take you home. It’s ridiculous!
Denille: Right! I hate men who drink and drive. I refuse to risk my life for a man.

What are some of the best and worst pickup lines you’ve heard recently?
Netania: The worst was definitely when a man asked me, “You want me to carry you to jail for carrying so much weight?” The best one was when a guy saw me and spun around to say, “You’re so nice, I had to look on you twice!”
Jodie: I can’t remember the last time I heard a pickup line. Chivalry is dead. Millennial men just message you on social media with the eye emoji.

What’s the one thing Jamaican men are concerned about when dating?
Netania: Nothing, Jamaican men don’t ‘date.’ Especially not millennials. They don’t really see the purpose of dating, apparently. They just want you to come to their ends and chill, but some of them will order food. More than likely they have girlfriends that they are hiding from.
Jodie: Yeah, that’s true. I, however, am only interested in men who date. They tend to be concerned about ‘keeping it low key’ until they know things are serious between us.

Describe your perfect man.
Netania: One with sense! A man who is self-aware, understanding, patient, tolerant and holds himself accountable for his actions.
Jodie: My perfect man is successful and independent. He’s intelligent, not just academically but emotionally and socially. He also has to be open-minded.

Do you approach men? What success have you had?
Netania:
Yes, if I see a guy I want, I will go after him. My success rate is about 98 per cent.
Jodie: Yes goodie! I don’t approach men. I prefer for a man to approach me.

Do you think men understand the rules of engagement in a time when people are focused on clamping down on sexual harassment?
Netania: There are a few conscious men who understand but most just do whatever they feel like doing.
Jodie: Yeah and if you don’t like it, that’s your problem. They don’t consider it as sexual harassment.

What does it mean to you to be a responsible man?
Netania: I like when a man can take control of a situation and be responsible. So, like Zhané said, I would never date a guy who drinks and drives. We’ve heard the countless messages about drinking responsibly! I don’t know why these men won’t listen. And, I prefer for my man to be the designated driver when we go out.
Jodie: Agreed. He should be making sure that I am all right, not losing control of himself. Being responsible is very attractive!

Story by Krysta Anderson.

krysta.anderson@gleanerjm.com

Krysta Anderson

Author

Krysta Anderson

Tackles sex and relationships with honesty and openness. For months, she took readers on a journey of self-exploration with personal dating column 'Single but Iffy to Mingle'. Now she's ready for an even bigger adventure.

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