My Flair Lady: Raising Queens with Shavelle Mayler

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May 10, 2020

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Queen: Khloé Dixon (3 years old)

Flair: How did you feel when you realised you were having a girl?

Shavelle: Honestly, I wanted a boy. I was a tomboy growing up so I thought it would be way easier to play sports and not be so hard to pick out outfits. However, when I found out I was having a girl, I was still happy and overjoyed that she was healthy. It’s still growing on me because I don’t know how to play ‘tea party’ but I see some of my tomboy in her, that part I can relate to.

F: Self-esteem is a problem among girls today ⁠— how do you assist your daughter in accepting herself for who she is?

S: I always show her a lot of affection, sometimes too much but she loves it. I call her beautiful and shower her with compliments every chance I get. Now, she tells me she’s beautiful, pretty, smart every chance she gets. I enjoy the idea that she is learning, not to rely on others to determine how to feel or look. 

F: What are some of your traits that you see her adopting from you?

S: She is very strong-headed, possesses an independent nature and has a well-rounded personality, like me. 

F: Did you ever play ‘mommy and me’ dress up? Do you believe in matching mother-daughter outfits? If yes, why? If no why not?

S: To be honest, no, I didn’t do the ‘mommy and me’ dress up. I was never a girlie-girl so it’s hard to pick out matching outfits for us. It’s very cheesy to me too but I like seeing other moms doing it. If we so happen to have similar colours or outfits in our closets, I may consider it for a special occasion, like a birthday, other than that, it’s a no for me.

F: Is your daughter comfortable sharing secrets with you?

S: It’s something she does for play but I’m building a solid relationship with her that she will entrust me with sharing her secrets as she gets older. I teach her to always come to me first whenever she feels like sharing something whether good or bad.

F: What lessons has your daughter taught you and how has she helped you to become a better mother?

S: Wow, patience definitely tops the list and taking risks. I used to get frustrated very easily but since having her, she has taught me to look for solutions and stop dwelling on problems, and to always try to find the silver lining. Also, I was very shy and was afraid to step outside my comfort zone. She got me to start my first business and now I am self-employed, doing what I love, just started a YouTube channel that I have delayed starting for years and the list continues.

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