Being the honey after the baby

Krysta Anderson
Krysta Anderson

September 7, 2020

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‘A baby changes everything’ is certainly an understatement. But that shouldn’t mean that you stop being the honey, just because you had a baby. Here are a few ways you tap into your sweet side again with your sweetheart.

Switch headwear

“Who the cap fit, let them wear it.” You have been wearing the mommy cap for a bit now. Once you’re off the clock, that is when the baby goes naptime or night-night, you can trade in the maternal hat for a sexier headpiece. Perhaps a crown? Honey, you are still the queen of the house, so make your ruling and reclaim your king.

Setting the right space

With the added pressures of the global pandemic forcing everyone in lockdown, working from home now has to be balanced with parental responsibilities: easier said than done. So where will you go? You can remain indoors in a ‘baby-free’ zone. Upgrade the space from scattered children’s toys and bottles to candles and scattered rose petals. Get creative and make an occasion out of it. The window may be small, but don’t be afraid to take in that fresh air when you need to.

Relax and unwind

It’s hectic when you’re in go mode all the time. Ask for assistance, if you can; after all, it takes a village to raise a child, and you can take a breather. Catching up on some well- needed sleep, taking a long shower or indulging in a baby-free dinner might be all the motivation you need to truly bring back balance to your life. Once you are able to reclaim some of your own independence, then you are better able to reignite the spark with your partner in love.

Don’t sit in silence

If you are feeling a bit overwhelmed by the mommy duties, don’t sit down in silence. Building up that frustration or anxiety can fester into an unwanted sore, wounding other areas of your life, namely, your relationship. So before it reaches that state, share how you’re feeling with your co-parent and let him know, as calmly and rationally as possible, where you stand on specific issues. Once you open that line of communication with him, you will feel more comfortable and will not only see him as just the father of your child(dren), but as your boyfriend or husband again.

Find your sexy side again

Babies, as beautiful as they are, come with weight gain that isn’t easy to shed. If ‘breast is best’ works in your ‘losing it’ favour, then that’s amazing. But for others, trust the process. You brought a blessing into the world, remember that. So if you’re not feeling as sexy as you used to, you have options. You can do something about it – exercising releases happy-go-lucky endorphins, which will lead to a healthier and happier you, so you could try that. Otherwise, you can embrace where you now and find sexy appropriate outfits that cater to your new curves. Stock up on a little black dress, no-more-room-available jeans, and heat things up with some sizzling lingerie. Pick up a few sex games if you like. The aim is for you to look and feel sexy, so you can unleash all that sexy on him.

Krysta Anderson


Krysta Anderson

Tackles sex and relationships with honesty and openness. For months, she took readers on a journey of self-exploration with personal dating column 'Single but Iffy to Mingle'. Now she's ready for an even bigger adventure.

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