“Thirty-WON!” That is how author, success coach, politician, and mother Krystal Tomlinson is describing her 31st revolution around the Sun. Tomlinson celebrated her 31st birthday on June 8. As she ushers in a new chapter of her life, the motivational speaker revealed in an introspective Instagram caption that year 30 was her “hardest and best year yet”.
We asked Tomlinson to share with us 31 lessons she learnt when she turned 31. It is an activity she generally does at the end of the year — “pause to reflect on the lessons life has challenged me to learn” — but she acquiesced, sharing 31 life lessons that she has had “the pain and pleasure of learning”. Tomlinson calls these lessons ones she accepts “as truth” and has decided to stop resisting. She told Flair that these fundamentals have formed core life principles for her and that she hopes that they “will land on fertile soil in your spirit as you review them”.
- Until you learn to love yourself, you can never offer or receive true love.
- Love is not a trading of favours. To love is to serve, and to serve is to expect nothing in return.
- When the heart breaks, let it bleed. Do not force your heart to store your trauma. Do not cover it and pretend it didn’t happen or it doesn’t hurt. Hurt held in will fester and become foul. Break, bleed, tend, heal. The heart is fragile but remarkably resilient.
ON WEALTH AND MONEY
- Multiply your income streams. The more sources of income, the greater your chance of financial independence.
- Pay yourself first. Not Jamaica Public Service.
- Never enter the month without a budget. I recommend the Every Dollar App for budgeting and daily expense tracking. Learn to account for every dollar you earn and spend.
- Operate from a zero-based budget. Subtract your monthly expenses from your income until it equals zero. Every dollar must be given an assignment
- If you don’t have the money, don’t buy it.
- You earn by the sweat of your brow, not the plan to start sweating.
- You gain in proportion to what you give. As long as you keep giving, success is certain.
- What is yours can never be denied. There is no race, no scarce commodity – just presence, purpose, and disciplined action.
- Cooperate to elevate. There’s a reason we never see ants stuck in traffic. They have mastered social cooperation, and so should we.
- Become a miser with your time. Calculate the return on investment for every activity that is hungry to eat up your precious minutes. Time isn’t just money … it is LIFE. Don’t waste your life.
- Don’t get caught “wanting” harder than you’re WORKING!
- Weniger Aber Besser said, “Do less, but better”. Avoid multitasking. Get decisively engaged with and focused on one task at a time. Less, but better!
- Always be prepared to create the circumstances you want. Life owes you nothing.
- I am ENOUGH. I will never have to prove my worthiness to the mob. Time will always testify for me.
- Incongruence will destroy your spirit. You can’t be who you are while trying to be who others want you to be.
- It’s not your temper that takes charge of you when you are angry. It is your trauma.
- Those who do not know you must never have the privilege of defining you.
- Never apologise for rejecting “bad energy”. Life is a melody of energies, and beautiful harmonies only come from synchronicity.
- Avoid the four cancers – do not complain, do not compete, do not compare, do not criticise.
- Look your “happy” in the eye and let it know “I’m coming to get you!” Plot your joy path and pursue the things that come alive.
- Stop seeking permission to be happy. Stop looking for approval to flourish. Not everyone’s opinion counts, and not everyone who counts has a sensible opinion.
- Live. Learn. Then live some more. Do not let the fear of falling stop you.
- The world is big, but you are not too small to stand out – you just have to stand UP!
- It is only when you listen to your life that you hear your tune and learn to dance to your unique beat
- The fact that you are alive is an invitation for life to test your foundation. Do not let the struggle offend you.
- The Court of Public Opinion is always in session, but its rulings are never binding.
- Failure isn’t destroying me. It is directing me, and I will not be too proud to reposition.
- Kill fear and shoot your shot because when the “referee” says the game is done, it is done!