Girls just wanna have fun, right? Well, we’ve tackled the big screen with ‘Netflix Watchlist’, so I decided to up the ante in the sex and relationship department. Sounds like the Flair’s version of the naked truth, but there’s more to what meets the eye. I asked my team of fabulous females to get frank about their feelings. Collectively, I assigned five questions: their mission, should they choose to accept it, was to answer openly and honestly.
For women who make a living out of interrogating others for stories, it was a dance of buck and shuffle when they were put in the hot seat. Guess it’s true what they say: the grass isn’t always greener on the other side. The categories gifted to no bidders include feelings (naturally), fundamentals, flirting, fun and frolic and fantasy. In no particular order, let’s jump right to it.
Fundamentals: For you, what are the fundamentals of a happy relationship?
This question was given to ‘Miss Profile and Serious Issue’, Rocheda Bartley. Knowing that she is all business, she opted to share her answer privately – no surprise here. According to her, a happy relationship is one that is healthy. She believes that it requires commitment, optimal communication (you definitely have to be able to reason), trust, love (of course), and partners who are open to learning from and listening to each other.
“Occasionally, sacrifices will come and these may affect the relationship, so both partners need to be willing to secure the union, come what may.” Yes, honey!
Feelings: What are your views of falling in love and commitment?
Here was a tricky one, but it was a real treat to challenge ‘What’s In My Bag and She has Flair Jedi’, Danik Frazer. She received the question falling in love: a myth or a reality? And there was nothing merry about this go-round! She thought I was dishing out payback but I was merely curious about her answer. “Now I would like some context for what this means. Do I like reading about this stuff? I love reading about it: it’s great! I love leaping outside of reality.” So is it a myth? What is her reality? We ended up at, “Is love a real thing? What is romantic love? Are there conditions? It should not be one that is containable and definable.” Yes now! That’s what I get for giving a broad question: I got a broad answer. The great wall of Danik will crack no further than that! We found common ground in commitment.
So, how do you feel about commitment in a relationship? “There is no relationship without commitment. There’s no point. Then it’s a ‘situationship’ and we are done with those things, we a big people now.” She is of the view that you should engage in open and honest conversation, communicate effectively what you want from a relationship before it starts, and if that changes throughout the relationship, then when you figure out the parameters of the relationship and anything new must be entered into discussion. Commitment is important for the relationship to work, make sure you’re there for your partner, your partner is there you, adding to you, adding value to your life and that you are there for yourself. Full stop. Then she went off into saying there is no such thing as ‘our ting different’ in commitment. Hear hear! I left her at, “Unu must stop the man-loving!”
Flirting: Do you flirt? Would you consider yourself a serial flirter, or is that just too much work?
I thought this was a fitting question for the resident fashion writer who dabbles in themes of beauty and relationship, Jessica Harrison. In most cases, she prefers theory over practical. She explained that because she is young, she has done most of the theory, consuming the books, television shows and information via social media. Now it’s time to take on a pragmatic approach. “I wouldn’t say I’m a serial flirter, but I like to practice. I don’t have to necessarily find you attractive and I don’t have to necessarily want it to go anywhere serious. I’ll just flirt with you.” Does that make her a serial flirter? She says that depends on your definition. “But I like flirting and I enjoy what comes after. I like flirting with someone and they think it’s going somewhere and at the end of it, they ask you for your number and you go, ‘uhmm?’.” It’s all fun and games for Jessica.
Fantasy: Name three recurring motifs in your fantasies.
I’m sure I almost got fired for this the moment boss lady, Madam Editor, Tickoya Joseph, saw this question. But she took one look around and realised the only two persons that would be honest about that answer would be her and I. I am still waiting for an official response. Beyond the laughter and a casual ‘I don’t have time for this’, she mumbled that at her age, it is important to do everything with a little flair, and make everything memorable. Wink.
Fun and frolic: Romance or fun times?
The two questions which remained were geared towards romance and fun times. I was told that what’s your idea of a romantic date is too easy and too tame for me to address. So I chose: could you engage in fun times every day or no way? Can I be frank? The truth is, I could and I would have fun times every single day, but life isn’t set up that way. With daily workload, other personal endeavours and family engagements, I squeeze in friends as often as I can, there is no time for myself. But I do believe in balancing the scale and making time for fun and frolic.
Believe me when I say, there’s more to me than a good time, but if you want to go there, only the strong is welcomed and only the brave can survive.
Story by Krysta Anderson