My Flair Lady: Raising Queens with Randy Bowman

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May 10, 2020

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Daughter: Jayla (8 years old)

How did you feel when you realised you were having a girl?

-Funny thing is, I wanted a boy first and was a little disappointed initially, especially since I found out when I was about six months pregnant. All along we were calling her Liam *face palms*. But by the time we left the doctor’s office and went to the store to buy a ‘reveal gift’ for her, everything changed. That was the beginning of spoiling my princess and I was reminded that girls are made of sugar, spice and everything nice! 

Self-esteem is a problem among girls today: how do you assist your daughter in accepting herself for who she is?

Jayla Bowman is a diva from birth. So far she has motivated me more truth be told. However, during the times when she isn’t 100 per cent, for example, when her hair isn’t how she wants it; or did not get the score she wanted in an exam; but she is reminded of how beautiful, strong, smart and loved she is. As a matter of fact, we tell her every night while tucking her in. And most mornings, she is greeted with a warm hug and another reminder. I strongly believe this boosts her self esteem.

What are some of your traits that you see her adopting from you?

Lord, I have prayed about her stubbornness and loving her own way. My prayers are being answered slowly, but surely. On the brighter side, she is so loving, a great listener, awesome friend, the best sister ever, and an enthusiastic scholar. I wish I could take credit for her looks, physical agility, musical ear, determination and wit too, but I can’t.

Did you ever play Mommy and me dress up? Do you believe in matching mother-daughter outfits? If yes, why? If no why not?

Yes and yes! We haven’t played dress up in a while but we still do matching outfits. I think it’s cute. Especially when we do it as a family

Is your daughter comfortable sharing secrets with you?

She is very comfortable, though she doesn’t have many. And I try to always keep my promise of not sharing, although some of them I’ve had to address ‘publicly’.

What lessons has your daughter taught you and how has she helped you to become a better mother?

The lessons are never-ending. So I’ll choose my favourite three. Patience,  that’s self-explanatory, but Lord knows I had none. Being selfless. Before becoming a mother, I never knew I could love someone after just hearing her heartbeat and unconditionally. Without thinking twice and without regret, I have oftentimes put myself on the back burner, so they can be happy. I am sure you have heard stories of how mothers went to get something for themselves and saw something their child would like and get it instead. Before children I said, ‘No not me’, but I’ve done it countless times. Purpose: knowing that my children depend on me for their needs and wants is more than enough drive to go hard. I want to always be one of their role models so I strive to lead by example with the high standards I have set for them.

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